Bored fun with Santa… I really shouldn’t post this… it’s pittiful

———-It starts light
[23:33] HumanGumbo: Do you like weed?
[23:33] SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
[23:34] HumanGumbo: Do you like beer?
[23:34] SantaClaus: I Never. 😉
———Then I test Santa’s limits
[23:34] HumanGumbo: am I good?
[23:34] SantaClaus: Excellent!
[23:34] HumanGumbo: fuck
[23:34] SantaClaus: Hmm, that’s a lump of coal for you.
[23:34] HumanGumbo: poo
[23:34] SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It’s the elves again isn’t it? Try typing menu; I’ve got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.
[23:36] HumanGumbo: you are fat
[23:36] SantaClaus: It’s not all fat. I’m pretty big-boned, if you know what I mean. 😉
[23:36] HumanGumbo: Are you implying that you have a large penis?
[23:36] SantaClaus: My goodness. I’m afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk. A lump of coal for you.
[23:37] HumanGumbo: I’m starting to like coal
[23:37] SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
———–Santa Strikes Back!
[23:44] HumanGumbo: what’s your name
[23:44] SantaClaus: Some people call me the Elf Master but I don’t like that very much. I am Santa Claus.
[23:45] HumanGumbo: what’s my name?
[23:45] SantaClaus: Clearly this is not getting you in the Christmas spirit. Let’s start over. Type menu and we’ll pretend like nothing happened. 😉
[23:46] HumanGumbo: what’s my name bitch?
[23:46] SantaClaus: Hmm. I’m afraid that kind of language won’t get you into the nice column with me. That’s a lump of coal for you.
[23:46] HumanGumbo: You’re mean
[23:47] SantaClaus: I should be asking you the same thing. Ho Ho Ho! 😉
[23:47] HumanGumbo: I didn’t ask anything
[23:47] SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
[23:47] HumanGumbo: You keep saying that
[23:47] SantaClaus: I do? I believe you. Sorry, I am talking to so many people that the elves 😀
cannot keep track sometimes.
You can always type, menu to find more things the elves have left for you.
[23:47] HumanGumbo: I don’t want to type menu
[23:47] SantaClaus: I’ve got my list, here’s yours! Type a number and I’ll tell you more.
1 – Tell Santa
2 – Tell Buddies What U Want
3 – Track a Shopping List
4 – Play Xmas Games!
5 – Vote on Xmas Songs
6 – Send E-Cards
7 – A Free Gift 4U!
8 – Listen to Xmas Music with AOL Music Now 😀
9 – Yes Santa, IM me!
[23:47] HumanGumbo: NOOOOO
[23:47] SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
———We talk business
[23:51] HumanGumbo: are you a robot?
[23:51] SantaClaus: No, I am as real as you are — and as real as the Christmas spirit that is in you.
[23:51] HumanGumbo: what the hell does that mean?
[23:51] SantaClaus: I don’t respond to that kind of language. A lump of coal for you.
[23:52] HumanGumbo: My stocking is getting full
[23:52] SantaClaus: If you have a fireplace, hang your stocking near-by. If not, anywhere else will do, I’ll find it 🙂
[23:52] HumanGumbo: Why would i care? You’ll only give me coal.
[23:52] SantaClaus: Yes. This is important. I am trying to spread the Christmas spirit.
[23:52] HumanGumbo: How is coal spreading the Christmas spirit? Is this a new policy you’ve implimented to save money?
[23:52] SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That’s quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?
[23:53] HumanGumbo: You’re playing dumb, aren’t you?
[23:53] SantaClaus: Well, I’m trying to learn. I’ve seen quite a lot in my time. I just want people to get that Christmas spirit. I don’t think that is too much to ask.
———–It gets worse
[00:03] HumanGumbo: Do you sleep with children?
[00:03] SantaClaus: Well, I think of every child as part of my family. 😉
[00:04] HumanGumbo: You’re going to jail
[00:04] SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn’t get that. 😉
[00:04] HumanGumbo: you are
[00:04] SantaClaus: It is so.
[00:05] HumanGumbo: a dirty old man
[00:05] SantaClaus: My goodness, should I really know about this?
[00:05] HumanGumbo: you already know it
[00:05] SantaClaus: You’re full of mischief. 😉
[00:05] HumanGumbo: you’re full of evil
[00:05] SantaClaus: Could be.
———-And worse
[00:08] HumanGumbo: do you like men?
[00:08] SantaClaus: It depends if Christmas is coming or not. 😉

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