Good day to night

I wound up waking before the sun this morning. I had to deliver a PC that I reloaded for a company. They make DNA and RNA. I have no clue what they do with it; every angle I take in inquiry comes back insainly short and simple. “Testing.” “Manufacturing.” I asked them what DNA stands for, Dual something neucrilic acid. Something like that.

Me: “What does that mean?”
Blank stares… “DNA.”
Me: “Is it a chemical, or a load of chemicals… something like that? I mean if it’s acidic that usually implys chemicals to me..”
Indifferent shurg: “No not really… it’s just the four different parts that make up DNA into it’s helix.”
Me “But if it’s manufactured, what is it made of?”
Puzzlement at the question: “DNA.”

GAH!! Their lack of curiosity in what their company does is… sad. If I sound like a idiot, get annoyed at my incompitance and explain so I never annoy you again! One of them was even a Biology major, she’s the one who knew about the four little peices that are sequinced to make up a strand of DNA. I learned that in grade school! What the hell people?

————-Tangent End

I set up their computer with little trouble. Just a lot of waiting for loads and finding software hidden in strange places.

After there I went to another location to look at a printer. It was making a nasty grinding noise and it wouldn’t print. Turned out that the load mechanism went to the crapper. So I talked to the Dell guy and have em send a new one. No big deal.

Then I went back to the office to do some e-mails and pick up another computer to reload. I should start that tonight… but meh. I love this job. It’s hard sometimes, but only because I don’t know something. Then I get through it, learn it so the next time it runs across the problem it’s cake. Arr Matee!

Anyway, after work I was invited to go cloths shopping with Amy and her mom at Pioneer Ct.Hs.Sqr. I’ve been wanting out of the house all weekend. Cloths shopping with two women isn’t my ideal choice, obviously, but meh. Out is out and the girls were amusing company when I was trailing behind from store to store.

For a good portion of the time I wandered the mall. I started with this little shop that Amy said that her ex used to go there while she was in the clothing store. I walk in a little ways in bewilderment seeing nothing of any interest at all. I notice that two people were watching me curiously.

“Can I help you?”
“What does this place do?” I asked.
“Sell stuff,” one girl said.
I looked at her and waited.
“We sell calenders, day planners, and other conveniances for keeping a schedule,” she said in a uninterested manner.
“You’ve said that a few times,” I smiled.
She grinned and nodded, “I’ve worked here a while.”

I with the two girls about nothing in particular. It was mostly just light hearted small talk. Quite amusing. Poor girls put in such a dull place to work. They asked me to come back later if I was still bored. lol.

That sort of thing happened a few times tonight. Small talk with tellers and helpers. They welcome the distraction, and I enjoy the interaction and practice. It was actually very fun and educational for me. Cloths shopping with a neutral female friend isn’t so bad 🙂

I’ve gone mute. Memorys of the day have been overcome by thoughts of philosophy. My mom is watching the Crucible. I hate this movie, but it’s not the movies fault. It pisses me off because it shows the depths people can go in order to keep a scuff from apearing on their name. A person would condem an innocent in order to save their fall. It makes my mind scream, “Make it stop! PLEASE!” Maybe that’s why I hate Desperate Housewives so much. Every time I watched (3 times) at a friends house that kind of thing happened every episode. It comes off as a comedy while it completely FUCKS morality. I felt sick to my stomach. It makes me genuinly afraid that law and the fear of getting caught will eventually outweigh guilt and compassion.

I know that I’m no saint. I flip people off if I’m in a bad mood and they’re in my way. I can lie or leave things out, or put things in a better light. I show people that I’m happy even though I don’t feel so great inside. Sometimes I’m remorsful for what I do, sometimes I just don’t give a shit. I’m human. But, damn it, don’t make it alright to feel guilt. Feeling guilt isn’t a weakness that distracts us from our goal. It’s not there to hold us back. It’s there to make us think about what we’re doing to other people. And ourselves. What’s the right thing to do? What if everyone did this? What if you keep doing this to everyone else? Where do you draw the line?

….. I’m done spouting. I’m in a somber mood now. I’m going to bed.

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A+ Certification… can I do it?

Last week an old acquaintance dropped by. He was a customer while I was landscaping for my uncle. I had a hand in making his back yard really nice for a season before it imploded on itself due to a lack of for-sight on the designers department. lol, I actually had a feeling about some things, but I’m no gardener. I was just an extra back to break while they gave orders ;p

Anyw00t, this guy comes into the place I work at to buy computer parts from time to time; he builds systems for ppl. This last time he and I talked a bit. His little company joined with a bigger one and they were still swampped. He pretty much guaranteed me a job if I could get A+ Certified. He know’s I’m a hard worker and he’d put in a really good word for me. I took his number and I left for home that night with dreams in my head of all the wonderful things I could do with the bigger paycheck…

BUT – Let me tell you about my experiences with A+ Certification. Back when I was a wee tike, Junior year of high school I was this massive computer brain. Well, as far as the teachers were concerned I was. Durring school I would have a class period devoted to running about interrupting interupting classes to try and make sense of the slightly smoldering computer in the corner. After school I worked for the school district. I would be dispatched out to any one of a dozen schools in the area to set up/upgrade/diagnose… whatever needed such. I saved my money, and went for my A+ Certification after reading a 800+ page book cover to cover.

To get A+ Certified you have to pass two tests. $145 per test. One test is for the hardware aspect of computers. The other software; mostly operating systems. You have to pass them both within a month of eachother.

First time out I took them both in one sitting. I passed the hardware test, no problem. Failed the software by two questions. $290 to the cause. Ok, no problem… I read up on the things I missed, went back devoting another $145 to the cause. Failed by one question. Ok, just got paid… read some more. $145. Failed by one question. My month was up so I’d have to take the hardware test again. I blew more than $500 on this thing with nothing to show for it. Period.

What’s worse, one of my friends walked in(no reading) and took a Beta version of the A+ Certification… it was like a trail version to see how well it would do with people. This was offered after my run. Anyway… he screwed around more than me, and I would have to correct his mistakes at times. He passed first time out. WTF!!!?!?!

Perhaps this is where my mental dificulty lies when trying to do this all over again. Overcoming the self-doubt and “will it be worth it” nagging at me as I shell out $290 that could potentialy be for nothing. I’m living with my mom who’s unemployed and as dependant on me for money as I am on her; we can do alot with $290. But alas it’s currently my only key to getting out of this mess and finally start a life on my own. So I’ve set up a base station in my room: A computer with lyric-less music and a bed with a reading lamp…. My resulve is tightening. The reading has started……

…. To be Continued